It is a curious facet of this thing, this drive to write. Ennui does raise it's ugly head far more often than it should. Ennui. Great word. That 'meh' feeling with everything. Funny that it is only a 'meh' feeling with writing. Writing something worth committing to paper. Writing something that makes me understand better the compulsion to put it on paper. For it is a compulsion for me sometimes I think. There are multiple times a day I think 'that would be good to write one'. Mull it over for some time, create a line that encapsulates the feeling.
But then comes the time to commit. To take that thought and run with it. Not a huge fan of the 'edit' or the prewrite - often my first step in dancing with a topic is to open the "Create a Post' window and tap away at the keys. More often than not, of late, the window was just as quickly closed for lack of interest after a few paragraphs were tapped out.
Tapped out. That is exactly how it's felt of late. No interest. No real sense of purpose. Putting it all down and out there feels so self pitying and attention seeking. But - it's real. It's there. That who cares and why should they.
Then I realized. The who, well - it has to be me. That if I want to make something of an idea, that the process, the thought, the writing, the taking the step is what is really the important bit.
The rest will come. Or maybe it won't. But, I'll never know if I don't take that step...
Away from Ennui
It's always there inside you whether you take the steps to type it out or not :-)
ReplyDeleteSometimes certain forums become no longer necessary whether it's within the person or the place. You'll figure out the best outlet for what you have to offer one way or another :-)
Chris is always saying what I would say if I had the right words ready to go!
ReplyDeleteThe urge to write can be 'there' but the urge to write in certain places makes it harder to commit.
Or maybe that's just me. :)
@Chris ...
ReplyDeleteThere is a part of me that knows that - and a part that feels like aspiring to the 'label' of writer is merely a sham if I don't blithely forge ahead - damn the torpedos if it were.
And then - I realize that there are fewer and fewer there who are even worth my effort.
Says more about me hanging on I think.. but that's another post :)
@Bubbles .. I think you nailed it...
ReplyDeleteIt is the 'forum' that tends to sink the urge.
Now it's a matter of overcoming that in more ways than one ..
A process. I ♥ a process. I can make a list and work through it.
Pathetic I am sometimes.