Why here. Why now. Why?

I could just say that I wanted to blog - that's true.  And I could say that the time was right .. also truth.  The realities of the situation go far deeper.  This is not my first ride at the rodeo, at least where blogging is concerned.  I was on a wonderful site for nearly 5 years, until some corporate yo yo noticed just how wonderful a place it was, bought it, and destroyed the things that made it so good.  So I was blog-less for a while, and opted to other interactive forums for an outlet.


After some dithering about with sites, I ended up stumbling upon a sex site, that offered many different things.  But although I read some blogs, I really wasn't partaking of the offerings there.  What I did find there was a group of people that were in my area who were fun, offbeat, and friendly.  The sex, for most, was an individual thing - and the interactions with people they wouldn't otherwise encounter was the best thing.  It was through that site, and chattering in different areas of the country, and even the world that I started to communicate with A.  Everywhere else I refer to him as the Love Muffin, so LM will do.  

Time came that the relationship for the two of us was more important than any life I was recreating up north, with my daughter in University and spending most of her time either at her school or traveling about the world visiting friends and relatives, the house being sold, and well - work is something I can do anywhere .. I moved.  Still is, was and will forever be the best opportunity taken where that site was concerned.  So - here I am in Atlanta, and rediscover the blogs at this sex site.  Because I have always been one who appreciates what someone thinks, how they think, and how they express themselves far more than any other trait.  About 2 years ago - I started a blog there. 

And I learned.  Much.  My writing improved. There was amazing skill and talent exhibited in many of the bloggers there.  There were topics that went from topical to fantasy to simple jokes to highly personal and often tragic revelations.  Heart warming and heart wrenching stories of personal triumph and tragedy.  And interaction.  Most of what I saw was positive: people finding a commonality and bonding with that, answering questions from perspectives of "having been there".  Then, the ugly side of people, or some people, started to show through the butterflies and flowers.  I don't know how many of you are True Blood watchers, but the point where Sookie sees beneath the faerie exterior to the ugly 'what lies beneath' was as shocking for her character as it was for me.

Because, essentially, some of the things I saw happening, things that were cheered on like Romans watching gladiators waiting for the killing blow was so far beyond anything I could comprehend doing to someone, it was as if I was watching some bad telenovela. 
And, it's not because I haven't dealt with the seedy underside of human nature, but to see it so focused and concentrated, and so relentless was shocking.  And caused me to retreat. Because being associated with that sort of behaviour, because you CAN cause people hurt is just not something I was comfortable with. It's not that I avoided it, some I stepped into not knowing all the sides, others I was dragged into ..but knowingly behaving like a spoiled 12 year old girl who is being challenged for the seat at the popular table, when the school owns all the chairs is really not my thing. 

So - that behavior does ebb and flow, pockets of it never cease, but it's easy to avoid pockets.  Sadly though - the miasma of who was worth trust, belief or even a read rather sucked the fun out better than a dyson. So - I set up house here, different, exponentially more functional. No real concerns about some halfwitted reviewer changing words, eliminating words, removing content, or (my personal favourite ) reporting you for abuse since you talk to xyz and they don't like x so you must believe everything x does and you speak for x.  Yes. It does get that childish. 

But it also does show some of the best things. The people that are admirable for the trials they have endured, those who will make you laugh out loud with a new spin on the word idiot, the interaction and play you can have with the responses and comments.  The few good do outweigh the few bad, but like all things - there may be a time where that space isn't comfortable for me to be me anymore.  It's happened to several, people who have moved over to write here - sharing with a select group the spaces where interaction is appreciated and, because of the history at the other space - comfortable. 
I won't let the few overrun what I do anywhere - especially not at the other blogging space ..but I think that is more an apartment where this is feeling more like a home...